viadartsandhearts:

sixohthree:

kateoplis:anthonyking:

Scott Brown and I wrote mean (but true) things about every state in the country for GQ.  Things like this:

2. Mississippi
Holy madre de Cristo, where to begin? Mississippi is our fattest and poorest state. On the other hand, it leads the nation in lynchings and ranks second in infant death. So. Yeah. Mississippi is widely believed by many not to be a state at all, but an especially despondent Faulknerian run-on sentence that everyone quit trying to comprehend a long time ago.

 Check it out!

7. Ohio
Forbes named Cleveland 2010’s “Most Miserable City in America.” And as if that’s not bad enough — Canton, Akron, Toledo, and Youngstown are all in the top 20. No wonder so many Ohio cities are suffering from negative population growth. People are fleeing for opportunities elsewhere. Average, hardworking people. Like LeBron James.

Speaking of LeBron, you realize that the only thing worth watching tonight is this, right?

48. New Hampshire
With its low population density, good schools, and ‘Live Free or Die” spirit, The Granite State (like Minnesota) is often mentioned as one of the “Best Places to Live in America.” But New Hampshire ranks near the bottom in church attendance. And almost half of the population refuses to say for certain there’s a god. So enjoy those White Mountains and gorgeous lakes: This Heathen Eden is just begging for a smiting.

NH is awesome. Deal with it.

40. Illinois
Illinois grows corrupt pols the way some states grow corn: No fewer than six governors have been charged with crimes, either during their administrations or after. (The most recent member of this not-so-exclusive club is fame-hungry Stephen King impersonator Rod Blagojevich.) Oh yes: Illinois also grows corn—and, more important, corn subsidies. How else would it pay its bookie?
It’s alright here.

10. Florida
The stripper-strewn Sunshine State lives up to its dong-like contour with some of the nation’s highest rates of sexually transmitted disease. It’s also contracted a bad case of real-estate foreclosures and continues to battle those chronic voting irregularities. Which is why other states have been trying to get Florida into “a home” for years. But it stubbornly insists on waiting for rising sea levels to take it.

(Source: anthonyking)